Crybabies: English Newspaper Invented 31 'Dirty Tricks' by Argentina to Justify World Cup Humiliation

England’s elimination at the hands of the Argentine National Team in the 2026 World Cup semifinal hit hard in ‘pirate’ lands. While most of the British press acknowledged the fair defeat and the superiority of La Scaloneta, one outlet decided to cry foul and produced a curious report listing ’31 dirty tricks by Argentina’ to beat England. A ‘whimsical’ point-by-point that only seeks excuses for a historic downfall.

The Telegraph published a compilation of the alleged ‘sins’ committed by the reigning world champions to ‘dirty’ the match and throw off Thomas Tuchel’s squad—perhaps one of the culprits behind the English catastrophe. In short, it’s always easier to see the speck in another’s eye than the log in one’s own…

It is a minute-by-minute list of every brush, protest, or ‘criollo cunning’ move that the Argentines made or provoked during the entire match played at the Mercedes-Benz Stadium in Atlanta, Georgia. The outlet pointed out, for example, tactical fouls by Alexis Mac Allister, physical challenges by Leandro Paredes and Giuliano Simeone—typical of a tense World Cup semifinal—as part of a strategy designed to unsettle the English players from the start.

However, the ‘inventory of complaints’ did not stop at infractions and also targeted situations that could be part of the South American footballer’s DNA and traditional criollo mischief, such as Lionel Messi’s complaints to the referee during halftime (as the English did) and even a ball allegedly thrown from the ‘albiceleste’ bench to prevent a quick England restart.

The ‘crying’ also included Cuti Romero’s excessive celebration in front of goalkeeper Jordan Pickford, alleged delays by Dibu Martínez to slow down the restart of play—a common practice when a team is leading and the match is in its final minutes. And the closing could not be anything else: the flag with the inscription ‘Las Malvinas son Argentinas’ displayed by some of Lionel Scaloni’s players after the match ended, a gesture that this outlet labeled as provocative.

Of course, the report said nothing about the taunting statements by former English coaches and players before the match, nor about Pickford’s requests to the referee to go to the hydration break when he saw Argentina ‘raining on his parade’, nor about the hard and repeated fouls by British players, especially against Messi, several to break up attacks, nor about the red card that Declan Rice should have received for covering his mouth in front of the referee to say something to La Pulga. Self-criticism, when will it come?

Nor did it mention the match statistics: in the end, Argentina committed only 4 more fouls than England. The numbers strictly related to football heavily favor the team led by Messi and explain why they won the match and are finalists of the Cup. The truth is that while in Argentina the qualification is met with euphoria and pride for the ‘balls’ of La Scaloneta, in England they still cannot digest another World Cup elimination at the hands of the team that had Diego and has Leo.

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